Order of Slaw
Working as a coroner, I often come upon interesting or unusual corpses. Today was no exception, as I worked boldly in the time-honored tradition of wronging a corpse in order to determine cause of death. I discovered upon body #1837, a man, short, in his mid-fourties, Caucasian, with his eyes closed peaceably. I noticed that he had an odd flap of skin on his neck, as if his skin had grown too much and had decided to make a flabby and flappy tab of neck. I examined it curiously, and, seeing nothing odd, except the piece of skin itself, I gently felt it, and it came apart. In fact, it was so acute to the touch that it ripped halfway around his neck before I let go. Horrified, I looked at the man's neck, but I could see nothing. No flesh, no muscle, no sinew, no signs of blood, past or present, nothing. Inhaling a sharp breath, I did what any investigative coroner would've reluctantly done. I finished pulling. Even more horrifying, the man's head fell off. At this point, I was no longer conscious of anything, and I passed out. I awoke to find myself on the floor, slightly dazed, but not worse off. I scrambled up, and the body was gone. I wasn't clear what happened after the head fell off, but I remembered that there were vertical stacks of neatly folded aluminum rectangles that said "Wrigley's".