The Dark Balloon

A weblog by Hao Lian.
A terrible secret guarded by golems.
A note that thanks you for being born, all those years ago.

Say, everybody! Come over here!

And now, another installment in our ongoing investigation of underground cow lives. Remember the first one? Yes you do. Yes you do.

Our heroes are escaping from the ruthless clutches of a radioactive but educational cow. When! …

Learn about love!
[(2006 August 6) .]

This might be funnier if it made sense… but Samuel L. Jackson does look better as a smiley face.

In other news, I’ve decided to drop the name “Maniac” and go with the much more mature “Thomas ‘Poopypants’ Jefferson” in all future posts.


—Maniac on 2006.08.12 (19:17)

Thomas Jefferson stayed up to write The Declaration late at night So he and his wife had a great big wife And she made him sleep on the couch on night

James Madison never had a son Then he fought the War of 1812 James Monroe’s colossal nose Was bigger than Pinocchio’s

<some time later>

A war! A war down south in Dixie!

The war in Dixie is vastly overrated.

—Thomas "Poopypants" Jefferson on 2006.08.13 (23:31)

Not enough people died for it to be fashionable!

Oh my fucking god.

I just saw Snakes on a Plane, and it is by far the best movie I have ever seen in my life!

Go see it now.

—Thomas "Poopypants" Jefferson on 2006.08.19 (22:12)

Abandon your ideas.

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