A weblog by Hao Lian.
A terrible secret guarded by golems.
A note that thanks you for being born, all those years ago.
- Team Galactic Guard. Hey, kid, you can’t come in here.
- Main Player. Oh yeah? Says who?
- Guard. Says me! I challenge you to a battle because animal violence is the only way to solve this conflict!
- Battle ensues. Player wins.
- Guard. Aw, fuck, now I have to make a trip to the Pokémon Center.
- Player. Now can I enter?
- Guard. Hell no! What makes you think you can enter now?
- Player. But I beat you! In a battle of Pokémon!
- Guard. Some stupid game with ugly pets ain’t gonna let you enter!
- Player. All right. You made me do this. Pikachu, use your Final Solution attack!
- Guard’s heart asplodes.
- Guard. Aw fuck. I’m Jewish, man, you’re not supposed to say things like that.
- As player walks away, cut to camera following his face with the guard behind him out of focus.
- Player. I’m Jewish too.