The Dark Balloon

A weblog by Hao Lian.
A terrible secret guarded by golems.
A note that thanks you for being born, all those years ago.

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A Scene from “Pokémon: The Real World”

  • Team Galactic Guard. Hey, kid, you can’t come in here.
  • Main Player. Oh yeah? Says who?
  • Guard. Says me! I challenge you to a battle because animal violence is the only way to solve this conflict!
  • Battle ensues. Player wins.
  • Guard. Aw, fuck, now I have to make a trip to the Pokémon Center.
  • Player. Now can I enter?
  • Pause.
  • Guard. Hell no! What makes you think you can enter now?
  • Player. But I beat you! In a battle of Pokémon!
  • Guard. Some stupid game with ugly pets ain’t gonna let you enter!
  • Player. All right. You made me do this. Pikachu, use your Final Solution attack!
  • Guard’s heart asplodes.
  • Guard. Aw fuck. I’m Jewish, man, you’re not supposed to say things like that.
  • As player walks away, cut to camera following his face with the guard behind him out of focus.
  • Player. I’m Jewish too.
[(2007 December 27) • • .]

Recent comments (Ethane, General announcement.) • (HAO, Jammies.) • (Tim, Jammies.) • (Prashanth, Wedding.) • (Hao, Hands.).

Recent posts (10/06, The myth and the man.) • (09/13, 2011 Sep 13.) • (08/21, Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.) • (08/21, Failing beautifully.) • (08/18, Shameless.).

I’m Jewish too. True redundancy is true.

—Ethan Sherbondy on 2007.12.28 (20:42)

You’ll always be Rastafarian to me.

—shadytrees on 2007.12.29 (17:06)

See the drugs? See the dreadlocks?

—Ethan Sherbondy on 2007.12.31 (20:21)

My god, it’s full of stars.

—shadytrees on 2007.12.31 (22:14)

Abandon your ideas.

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