The definitive list of what will happen in 2008
dfdb is proud to expand to politics and music and culture and current events this year.
- Despite the best efforts of America’s women, Obama will become president of the United States and, by proxy, the world. His vice president? Some white person nobody cares about.
- The Funnelwhich will get a quantity of updates that is a multiple of three. Maybe.
- New Amsterdam will get canceled even though it’s a damn good show.
- Google’s suite of office software will continue to suck. TRUE
- Apple will learn how to make iPod nanos not look like the fat chick nobody likes. Also, gray? Seriously? Gray’s going away.
- People will continue to enjoy pornography in novel and exciting new ways despite the best efforts a new production company, n-girls + n-1 cups.
- foobar 0.9.5.2 will be released to much “fanfare.”
- Franz Ferdinand and The Fratellis will release their new albums. Somebody will make yet another postmortem album for Elliot Smith.
- There will be no new Windows OS release because most scientists agree such an event would cause a permanent rip in the very fabric of Bill Gates’ pants. And nobody wants to see his butt.
- That’s right, I’m making this public: Bill Gates goes commando on a daily basis. ♫ Thonnnng. ♫
- House will get renewed despite crappier writing and even crappier medicine.
- The next version of Mac OS X will contain, let’s say, Firewire support. And better icons than those in Leopard. And a TCP/IP Stack®.
- People will continue to not care about any of the Linux operating systems.