I summarize Spider-Man 3.
Mary Jane gets jealous of Peter’s success. That’s right, Peter. He is possibly the nicest and nerdiest interpretation of a superhero ever, whose success manages to offend Mary Jane. She questions her love, thus compounding Spider-Nerd’s problems, thus putting his life in mortal danger. Along the way, the movie touches on every other cliché not yet employed in this subplot. Also: nobody bleeds; Harry chooses to be near Mary Jane’s bosom and die rather than call an ambulance; you can talk audibly even if a monster pierces both your lungs; Spider-Nerd’s rib cage is invincible; you can survive a grenade explosion two inches from your face with minimal reconstructive surgery; women will predictably scream in large numbers every time something—usually glass—breaks; you can take your kids out to watch a highly dangerous battle between monstrous freaks; gravitational acceleration is 9.8 meters per second squared for the first three seconds before falling to zero; and an invincible monster will rampage your city when all he really wants is forgiveness. Having watched this and Bones in the same week, I think I’ve reached my capacity for bad writing (and I still have to read over this week’s Dark Balloon posts).