The allure of a mean friend.
- Candyman: Oh, my parents can drive us Friday.
- Me: Great. I will expect both your parents to be there.
- Me: I will not get into the car for anything less.
- Candyman: Then I guess you’ll walk.
- Candyman: It’ll help you lose some of those pounds.
- Me: You should learn to drive instead. It’ll help you earn some money driving around other people with your broke-ass chaffeur self.
- Candyman: So says Mr. I’m So Poor I Get Financial Aid.
- Me: Which I hear is a major at your school these days.
- Candyman: Acutally, it might be.
- Candyman: We have a “make your own major” department.
- Me: You could get a PhD in being an awful person.
- Candyman: That’s one more subject I can get a PhD in.