The Dark Balloon

§

One literary weblog deserves another.

The two kids hear thumping from a supply closet that has been nailed shut and the two pry it open, only to discover hideous plants with human features. One has an arm. The other has fingers. A third has pride.

R.L. Stine Shows He is Down With the Kids: “We need a lemon tree,” Casey said as they slowed to a walk. “They’re cool.”

Regina, furious over Todd’s sabotage of her project, attacks Todd and the two quarrel, knocking over Patrick’s worm skyscraper, which falls and lands on the Liquids and Gases project. This is followed by maybe the single best line ever uttered in Goosebumps history, as a girl screams “Look out—it’s Liquids and Gases!” Then, be with me on this, there’s an explosion, but R.L. Stine doesn’t even write about the explosion. I guess the previous 40 pages of worm digging were far more exciting than writing about a middle school science fair ending in an explosion. No one’s hurt, and no one mentions again in the book that the school gym exploded.

The Internet has deconstructed Garfield, Encyclopedia Brown, and white people. What other artifacts from your childhood will come next? Yes, that’s right. Goosebumps. In extreme detail, like a cross between television episode recaps and Permanent Monday and McSweeney’s Internet Tendency lists. Consider reading through the Monster Blood I-IV reviews because the author develops an impressively nuanced and hilarious critique of the character Evan. Also, those books suck the most in the series so lulz all around. (via MetaFilter)

§

Should have waited three more days to post this.

It’s funnier without Garfield’s thought balloons (Emotionless cat terrifies neighborhood children with fast undressing paws.), but a quick dose of visual humor nevertheless at the deservedly ridiculed neighborhood bully that just happens to make fun of cats as tall as he. In the end though it’s Garfield’s stoicism and body language between the second and third panels that puts the meat on the table. As a refreshing counter-opinion, may I remind you Slate’s glib praise of Davis’ mediocrity way back in 2004? (Those were the times: The litmag was only one-year old, anything was possible, and Blogdex was up and running. Who remembers Blogdex? The answer may just be everybody.)