The Dark Balloon

A weblog by Hao Lian.
A terrible secret guarded by golems.
A note that thanks you for being born, all those years ago.

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And now: Definitions.

Legally blind (adj.): Not actually blind.

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[(2008 March 14) .]

Recent comments (Ethane, General announcement.) • (HAO, Jammies.) • (Tim, Jammies.) • (Prashanth, Wedding.) • (Hao, Hands.).

Recent posts (10/06, The myth and the man.) • (09/13, 2011 Sep 13.) • (08/21, Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.) • (08/21, Failing beautifully.) • (08/18, Shameless.).

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And now: Drunken Definitions.

Coinrejoke (n.): Coming up with an old joke independently.

I’ve had this experience twice: I tumbled upon “You used to walk uphill … both ways!” and “You’re straight as a circle.” without knowing them beforehand. Dear reader, you believe me—right?

[(2008 March 10, 4!) • .]

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Grab bag this is a grab bag people

Never smile with a cheek full of water.

Flesh-Kincaid (n.) 1. Measurement of readability; 2. The motivating force behind my Law and Order fantasies for an entire season.

[(2007 November 14) • • .]

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And now: Drunken Definitions

BULLSHI’ (n.): Bullshit without the T, muthafucka!

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[(2007 January 25) .]

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And now: Drunken Definitions

TOUCH AND GO (v. it.): Child molestation for the busy working man.

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[(2007 January 17, 1!) .]

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And now: Drunken Definitions

ASPERGER’S SYNDROME (n.): Waiting patiently for the toilet to subside.

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[(2005 June 9) .]

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And now: Drunken Definitions

SNOOTINESS (n.): You wouldn’t understand it anyway.
TRANSCENDENCE (n.): ##############

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[(2005 June 7) .]

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And Now: Drunken Definitions

CAMPUS (n.): the liquid accumulations of microphages, debris, and dead cells that occur upon injury of the charge-couple device.

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[(2005 February 7) .]

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And Now: Drunken Definitions

RESUSCITATION (n.): the second worst enemy.

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[(2005 February 6) .]

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And Now: Druken Definitions

ABSURD (n.): The seventh root of your abdominal muscle.

DISAPPOINTMENT (n.): A statement without a cause or a cause without a statement. (v.): To mock receptionists.

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[(2005 January 29) .]

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And Now: Druken Definitions

INTUITION (n.): Idiomatic, the state of being taught.

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[(2004 December 26) .]

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And Now: Druken Definitions

COMMUTATION (n.): Deleting crutch words, unnecessary descriptors, and other progeny of bad writing.

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[(2004 December 7) .]

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And Now: Druken Definitions

DEBATE (n.) A conversation between wrong people in an attempt to reach a central truth by distancing themselves from it.

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[(2004 December 1) .]

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And Now: Druken Definitions

TOMORROW (n.): The contents of a sign on a bone's exterior.

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[(2004 November 30) .]

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And Now: Druken Definitions

LEDGER (n.) — What God uses to create rest areas on cliff faces.

This has been Druken Defintions.

[(2004 November 28) .]